Hey Reader hey!

I want to hand you something today that I stumbled on in my own therapy - not as the therapist, but as the client Girl... 😮‍💨 back when I was deep in the thick of carrying everything for everybody and calling it strength... 🥴

It's a single question.

And I know. I know. That sounds like something you’d see on a pretty little graphic and scroll right past honey lol

But this question has quietly changed the way I move through almost every heavy, loaded, complicated moment in my life and I've watched it do the same thing for the women I work with.

Ready Boo? Suuuuuper simple Reader:

Is this mine to carry right now?

Here’s how I use it and how you can steal it.

Before I say yes to anything

Any time somebody's in my inbox, my DMs, my text or even my kitchen Chile... and something in me drops a lil bit (you know that sinking feeling I'm talking about) I ask the question before I open my mouth. If the honest answer is “this ain't actually mine” I look at how it got to me and whether it actually needs to stay there. And Reader 9 times outta 10 I need to return it to sender honey!

When I hit that specific kinda I'm-so-tired-I-can-barely-move-my-body

You know the one. That exhaustion that don't come from doing too much - it comes from carrying things that were never yours to begin with. And honestly: it hit's different from regular tired. Heavier. More resentful. More hollow. When I feel that? Oh yea... I ask the question and I do a real audit of everything sitting on my plate. Stuff that don’t belong to me? It's getting put down or I redirect them. Period.

When a client comes to me spinning and doesn’t know why

This is one of the first things I walk women through inside my work. Not as a way to dodge what’s real, but to get really clear about which responsibilities are actually theirs to hold. And the truth is Boo: most women are carrying at least 30% more than they should be. Which is why I love this question cuz we gonna find it... every 👏🏽 single 👏🏽 time. 👏🏽

Reader, I’m sharing this in April cuz this tends to be the month where people hit a VERY SPECIFIC kinda wall. Q1 is behind us. The year is fully underway. Everything feels heavier than it did back in January when we were all fired up and making vision boards.

And sometimes that’s just the workload...

But sometimes (and I want you to really sit with this) it’s cuz you have quietly picked up things along the way that were never yours to hold in the first place.

So I’ll leave you with it today Reader:

Is what you are carrying right now actually yours?

Worth sitting with this week.

💖 Dr. Seida Hood

Licensed Therapist + Anti-Hustle Guide

Creator of The Hustle Rehab®

PS. Learning to put down what was never mine to carry is one of the first things we work through inside You Can Rest... No Like Really! - my 5-day audio reset for the woman who is exhausted from holding it all together for everybody else. If that's where you are right now, I'd love to have you inside. Grab it here Boo.